Sunflowers
by Schuyler Lola
Summary: Implied character death. Luke has to get her to come, and he's out of options.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Really, this is unnecessary…

**A/N: **This fic is based off yet ANOTHER challenge that I gave on Lorelai90's board, and here's the quote I have to base it off of:

"You make sense of pain through constant motion." (The Trews, _Fleeting Trust_)

Sunflowers

"I cannot believe you!" Lorelai yelled, tears streaming down her face. "I told you that I didn't want to do this!"

"Lorelai," Luke said, gently, putting a restraining hand on her arm. "Do you think she would want you to forget, or try not to do it?"

"I don't know what she wants. I don't know, because I can't ask." She slumped, the couch providing the support she needed at the moment. "I just can't, okay? It's too much, right now."

"I know."

"I know you know. And, I'm sorry Luke." She swiped her sleeve across her eyes. "I know it hurts you as much as me. I mean, I can't even drink coffee anymore without crying."

He nodded, just waiting for her to act. "I know that, too."

"I'm sorry."

Luke got up from his perch across the room, and sat with her. "Do you think you'll be ready soon?"

"I don't know." She stood up. "I've got to get to the inn." Lorelai crossed the living room, checked her face in the mirror, and flew out the door, a dizzy blur of heels and curly, dark hair.

He leaned back on the couch, reflecting on the past few months. At first, Lorelai hadn't been able to get out of bed. He told the town to go away, she'd come out when she was ready, and that was that. He guarded the house, bringing her food, and trying to get her to eat. She wouldn't budge. Finally, she came down the stairs. The steps had been small, but finally, she had tried to move on with her life. She was still miserable, though, and Luke, try as he might, couldn't make her feel any better. He just decided he would be her pillar of strength, then, because of the fragile state Lorelai was in. She had cried more in the last few months for six lifetimes over.

She couldn't keep this up, this stubbornness. He knew at first that she was blindly walking around; so was he. None of them were thinking clearly at all. But now, when she was thinking again, she needed to go, to see, to let go. Because Lorelai was still holding on, and that made it much worse for her than a person who had let go, and just remembered. Luke had let go, and yes, he was still shaken, but he was starting to get into the healing process. Lorelai was still aching with her sadness. She kept going, and going. One minute, she was running to the inn. The next, she was in New York, picking up something for someone. She had thrown herself into being busy 24/7.

He thought about going to the diner. It was six o'clock in the morning, and usually, he would be there by now. Instead, he had been the one to grumble when the alarm went off and Lorelai was the one to jump out of bed and clatter around the house, searching for various items she figured she needed for the day. He was sure she didn't hear the noise she made anymore. So he just rolled over and waited, until she said she wanted to talk.

Lorelai was falling apart at the seams. He couldn't stand watching her do this to herself anymore. He picked up a piece of paper and scrawled a note to leave for her where he was sure she would see it, when she came home at lunch, after putting in her half-day.

_Lorelai,_

_I'm picking you up at one o'clock. Be ready to go. I'll bring you some food. Try to rest, okay? You're going to burn out. _

_Love, Luke_

He taped it to the mirror with the only thing he could find to put it there, a band-aid, with a – what was that? – A Hello Kitty band-aid. He sighed, allowing a small smile to escape his lip. It was the first smile that had been seen in a long time in that house. He hoped that soon, they would come full force.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Lorelai asked tiredly. Luke frowned. Usually, when she asked a question like that, she was full of curiosity, not asking because she felt she had to. He missed the Lorelai spark.

"You'll see." He handed her a latte. "How's this? It should add to the pile of sugar you've been accumulating your whole life."

"Yeah. Thanks." She buckled her seatbelt. "Luke, please tell me where we are going. I don't want to be out in left field while you hum to yourself because you know something I don't know."

"It's not very far away. You'll see when we get there, okay?" He kept his voice light, soothing, comforting. This might be too much, but she needed to go. He had gone a few times himself, but it wasn't right that Lorelai had stayed at home while he went to explain something to someone who wasn't there.

He drove slowly, just to make the trip longer and to see what she would say. Nothing. He got an answer of nothing. Now he was certain that he had to do this. He pulled into the parking lot. He saw Lorelai's eyes get wider as she took in her surroundings. "No, Luke. I said no, dammit!"

"Lorelai, you have to do this," he replied gently. "I've been here, and so have other people. You need to come."

"I…I – okay." She squeezed her eyes shut, to retain control and reached for Luke's hand as he came to open the door. He kissed her cheek and helped her down, hiding something on his other side.

They walked down the path, Lorelai not knowing exactly where to go; Luke having memorized every step. He steered her down to the plot, an arm around her waist, guiding her. They had vetoed the family mausoleum, and when Emily had finally realized that, it was too late.

Luke pulled her to a stop in front of a small, plain stone, with a name, some dates, and a simple epitaph. Lorelai had agonized over it, reading and re-reading papers, trying to figure out what to put there. _"It has to be dignified." He stared at Lorelai. Dignified was not the best idea._

"Here." He handed her what he had been hiding. Her eyes filled with even more tears.

"They're sunflowers," she proclaimed in wonderment. "She _loved_ sunflowers." She kissed the stems and placed the pair of them down.

* * *

Okay, I have an addiction to reviews...(hint, hint)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Don't own and made up a date, too.

**A/N: **So I either depressed/confused a lot of people with the first bit of this thing. I think I confused myself with this, when I went back. Sorry. Here's some more to tie everything up, 'kay?

* * *

Lorelai chewed her lip. "I think I'd like to stay for a few minutes," she said, her voice thin. "Alone?"

"That's fine." Luke kissed her quickly, patted her shoulder and disappeared down the long, complicated path that they had come. She watched him leave, and then turned her focus back to the stone. Something about coming to the cemetery made it too final for her. That was ridiculous. It was just as final before. "God!" she snapped at herself. "This is crazy!"

She wondered if she was going crazy. You could do that, couldn't you? People could lose their minds after something tragic happened to flip their worlds around, right? "Hey, Rory, am I going crazy?" she asked the ground. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

She moved the sunflowers aside, to look at the stone. "_Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, October 17, 1984 – May 16, 2007. One-half of our duo – bright, lovely and amusing._" If she could chisel something else on the stone, she'd add something funny, some sort of inside joke. She didn't think it was particularly dignified as she first thought, but Luke had chided her to put something so…Rory. It may not have been as Rory as she liked, though. _I did my best._

Alternately, Lorelai was tired and energized. Some days she would have more done before ten o'clock than Luke would have done in a normal week. Other days, well…she didn't like thinking about those days.

That her daughter had died crossing a street, to go to a café, was murdering her. Of course, the hundreds of times that Rory had successfully crossed the street without mishap were not recounted in the paper, with the big front page article, about how "the promising young reporter, set to graduate from Yale," had been hit by a driver who was perfectly _sober_in broad daylight – she hated it. Lorelai had taken one look at it, snatched the paper out of the mailbox and fired it into her trash can, and then told Luke to get rid of that bag of trash. He agreed.

But, Luke was right again. This, in an oblique way, made her feel the tiniest ounce better. Interesting, at how she couldn't come in at the heart of a problem – she had to approach it from the side. And her problem was right in front of her.

"Well, I'm gonna go," she said, feeling stupid but also comforted. "I'll be back later, you know, I…bye, Rory."

She stuck her hands in her coat pockets, feeling a new kind of sad: a calming sort, the one a person hits when they know they'll be fine. She started to run when she saw Luke standing by the truck, just waiting for her. "Luke!" she called.

"Yeah?" He studied her face. She didn't look quite so tired. And maybe, that was a sign of healing. He hoped so.

"Luke," she repeated, hugging him tightly. "I love you, you know that?"

"I've heard a rumour." He hugged her back. "I love you, too."

"Good." There was – kind of like a shadow of a smile on her face; that was progress. "Luke?"

"Lorelai."

"Do you think we could go to the diner? I really need a cup of coffee."

"Sure." He opened the truck door for her.

"I think…" She frowned, looking for the words.

"I know what you mean." Luke turned the ignition, and within a matter of seconds, they were driving away, Lorelai looking over her shoulder to imprint the look of the place in her mind.


End file.
